I’m taking a break from my 7 for seven posts for a while (at least this week) after some recent changes, as I always desire just a little more privacy in transitional stages of my life. I thought it would be fun to do a throwback of when I use to do my #TheStruggleIsReal posts, as I navigate this new phase of my life and meet new people. As I wish for them to meet me more organically, rather than finding out too-personal things on my blog, this type of post allows me more ambiguity in the little details. Some of these things I may or may not have said on a date, and some of them you will be hoping to GOD I didn’t say these on a date (to which I most likely did…). Here goes.
Just as I aimed to ease the Monday blues with my 7 for seven, I aim once again. Though this time, I need a good laugh — at my expense, because if I don’t do that every once in a while, I risk taking myself too seriously.
Upon announcing to my roommate one morning before work, “I had to talk myself into washing my hair this morning in the shower to avoid it looking greasy, but now I can’t talk myself into drying it, so now it just looks greasy anyway!”, her dead-pan response to me was, “The struggle is real.” That seems to be her go-to response to me quite often, and it’s since become my inner-mantra whenever I need to just stop, step outside of myself, and laugh at myself and my “problems.”
Last week’s “struggles”:
1. “I just reported an actual penis on [dating website]. It’s official, online dating is amazing.”
2. “Instead of being the type of person who knows the right people to get the password to get into a speakeasy, I’m the type of person that just sneaks in behind someone. See?”
3. “Something that defines me as being a ‘lame old person’? Hmm. I once use to find excuses for not going out on a Friday night so I could stay in to watch Ghost Adventures. Zach, the host, is amazing. He’s the type of guy who will faux-hawk forever, dons Affliction shirts, and always skips leg day. I only wish I were as disproportionately confident as he is.”
4. “I have to be an actual adult again tomorrow. Ugh.”
5. “I resurrected you today [from the lake] and almost your phone (but I still think there’s hope!); I think that’s a win.”
6. “Pierce Brosnan was filming outside the Firehouse Lounge last night while I just stared blankly at him. Thought it was just a lame car commercial with some no-name. I had no clue it was him until I walked away. Missed my chance! He totally would have fallen for me!”
7. “Hmm, my celebrity crush is Cary Grant. Yeah, you’re right, he is dead, but this suits my similar unrealistic expectations in the real world, and I’m all about consistency.”
8. “I need to convince my parents to get that boat with the slide and grill on top. Easily done. It’d be so frat of us.”
9. “I’m going to ask him if I can borrow his unicorn [floaty]. …I’ve got to be careful how I phrase that.”
10. “Someone on [dating website] told me I was getting kind of old, and he needed to speed up the process because he assumed I probably wanted to start a family. Don’t know if I should be more offended by the implication that my eggs are growing old and stale or that he propositioned himself to give me a baby before asking me out on a date.”
11. “I hardly ever get angry, unless I’m in traffic. I spend most of the time muttering, ‘The left lane is for passing only. Passing only!,’ on repeat. It’s a waste of breathe, really, but it feels so dang good.”
Happy Monday! I hope you have a great week. Share your laughs with me!