Just as I aimed to ease the Monday blues with my 7 for seven, I aim once again. Though this time, I need a good laugh — at my expense, because if I don’t do that every once in a while, I risk taking myself too seriously.
Upon announcing to my roommate one morning before work, “I had to talk myself into washing my hair this morning in the shower to avoid it looking greasy, but now I can’t talk myself into drying it, so now it just looks greasy anyway!”, her dead-pan response to me was, “The struggle is real.” That seems to be her go-to response to me quite often, and it’s since become my inner-mantra whenever I need to just stop, step outside of myself, and laugh at myself and my “problems.”
Last week’s “struggles”:
10. “I strongly dislike the overused words ‘obligatory’ and ‘essential.’ I’m also confused by the fact that I’m not upset that disliking words makes me feel like somewhat of an old-fart. Another word I dislike.”
9. “Shoot. Why do I get shy around people who are the least likely people I should be shy around? Hashtag awkward.”
8. “Trust me, I wish speaking in hashtags was only a phase, but I teach middle schoolers.”
7. “Sometimes things come out of my mouth even though I don’t believe them, but I’m a slow processor when it comes to verbalizing my thoughts, so I’m a walking contradiction by accident.”
6. “A camera man at the pool said, ‘Hey bathing beauty, I need you to get up for a second so I can take some photographs,’ and I wanted to say, ‘Hey buddy, flattery will only get you so far,’ but I’m almost positive a smile peeked out like when my childhood doctor pretended to take a coin out from behind my ear, and I got right up out of my lawn chair.”
5. “Have you ever just wanted to kick someone? Well, I never have. But I wish I wanted to. I think.”
4. “I refuse to binge-watch Orange is the New Black like everyone else because the last time I binge-watched anything, I laid around in my own filth and thought my best friend was Lena Dunham.”
3. “Ugh, my nails.”
2. “Red is my spirit animal.”
1. “Spending more time writing my novel has made me realize just how close my imagination is with experimental fiction. Reality is tough. Whoops.”
Happy Monday! I hope you have a great week. Share your laughs with me!