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#TheStruggleIsReal

Just as I aimed to ease the Monday blues with my 7 for seven, I aim once again.  Though this time, I need a good laugh — at my expense, because if I don’t do that every once in a while, I risk taking myself too seriously.

Upon announcing to my roommate one morning before work, “I had to talk myself into washing my hair this morning in the shower to avoid it looking greasy, but now I can’t talk myself into drying it, so now it just looks greasy anyway!”,  her dead-pan response to me was, “The struggle is real.”  That seems to be her go-to response to me quite often, and it’s since become my inner-mantra whenever I need to just stop, step outside of myself, and laugh at myself and my “problems.”  

Last week’s “struggles”:

10.  “I’ve never sung like no one is listening because in my imagination, someone is always listening. They’re always listening.”

9. “Sometimes I feel like a dirty old man, and I might not be too far off as a thirty-something in my prime.”

8. “I did not intend to go on a liquid diet this weekend. We are bad influences on each other. Want to split a cupcake?”

7. “We are asking for limes, but we already have limes.” “But that’s the point. It’s funny.” – my roommate

6. “Here, filter this picture for me so it looks like I’m a good photographer.”

5. “I should not have bought that.”

4. “No, you should have bought that; you’ll need it in the future. Probably.”

3.  “Ugh, my nails.”

2.  “Oh, no, I’m totally okay with that.  Well, maybe I only like same-side-bench-sitters when I’m included, otherwise, stop that. Yeah, they’re gross, but I’d do that. Oh, I’d totally do that. Ew.”

1. “I’m not going to lie, I had dance parties at the apartment while you were gone.          By myself.”

Happy Monday!  I hope you have a great week.  Share your laughs with me!

xo,

Lauren


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#TheStruggleIsReal

Just as I aimed to ease the Monday blues with my 7 for seven, I aim once again.  Though this time, I need a good laugh — at my expense, because if I don’t do that every once in a while, I risk taking myself too seriously.

Upon announcing to my roommate one morning before work, “I had to talk myself into washing my hair this morning in the shower to avoid it looking greasy, but now I can’t talk myself into drying it, so now it just looks greasy anyway!”,  her dead-pan response to me was, “The struggle is real.”  That seems to be her go-to response to me quite often, and it’s since become my inner-mantra whenever I need to just stop, step outside of myself, and laugh at myself and my “problems.”  

Last week’s “struggles”:

 

10.  “Give me a routine and I want freedom.  Give me freedom and what do I do? Create another routine.”

9.  “I’ve never done yoga well because I’m always thinking about the million other things I should be doing when holding a pose, which is probably the very reason I should do yoga well.”

8. “I may have been sewn into my dress tonight, but I win at corn-hole.”

7. “I’m closing my eyes because I have that ugly feeling. I’m trying to make it namastay away.”

6. “What else are sisters good for than to patch up each other’s aging facial flaws?”

5. “You bet we ordered color-coordinated fans to match our dresses. We’re from Texas” (my sister)

4.  “I need some greens tonight or someone is going to get hurt.” (my sister)

3.  “Ugh, my nails.”

2.  “My phone fits perfectly under my lumbar arch while laying out. Protects it from the sun and overheating. There are some things a sizable booty is good for. It’s called a ‘booty bonus.'”

1.  “Dad gets the front seat; it’s Father’s Day. It’s called ‘daddy dibs.’ I dunno, for some reason I’m on this alliteration kick.”

Happy Monday!  I hope you have a great week.  Share your laughs with me!

xo,

Lauren


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#TheStruggleIsReal

Just as I aimed to ease the Monday blues with my 7 for seven, I aim once again.  Though this time, I need a good laugh — at my expense, because if I don’t do that every once in a while, I risk taking myself too seriously.

Upon announcing to my roommate one morning before work, “I had to talk myself into washing my hair this morning in the shower to avoid it looking greasy, but now I can’t talk myself into drying it, so now it just looks greasy anyway!”,  her dead-pan response to me was, “The struggle is real.”  That seems to be her go-to response to me quite often, and it’s since become my inner-mantra whenever I need to just stop, step outside of myself, and laugh at myself and my “problems.”  

Last week’s “struggles”:

10. “I strongly dislike the overused words ‘obligatory’ and ‘essential.’ I’m also confused by the fact that I’m not upset that disliking words makes me feel like somewhat of an old-fart. Another word I dislike.

9. “Shoot. Why do I get shy around people who are the least likely people I should be shy around? Hashtag awkward.”

8. “Trust me, I wish speaking in hashtags was only a phase, but I teach middle schoolers.”

7. “Sometimes things come out of my mouth even though I don’t believe them, but I’m a slow processor when it comes to verbalizing my thoughts, so I’m a walking contradiction by accident.”

6. “A camera man at the pool said, ‘Hey bathing beauty, I need you to get up for a second so I can take some photographs,’ and I wanted to say, ‘Hey buddy, flattery will only get you so far,’ but I’m almost positive a smile peeked out like when my childhood doctor pretended to take a coin out from behind my ear, and I got right up out of my lawn chair.”

5. “Have you ever just wanted to kick someone?  Well, I never have. But I wish I wanted to. I think.”

4. “I refuse to binge-watch Orange is the New Black like everyone else because the last time I binge-watched anything, I laid around in my own filth and thought my best friend was Lena Dunham.”

3. “Ugh, my nails.”

2. “Red is my spirit animal.”

1. “Spending more time writing my novel has made me realize just how close my imagination is with experimental fiction. Reality is tough. Whoops.”

Happy Monday!  I hope you have a great week.  Share your laughs with me!

xo,

Lauren


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When my string pulls her to the surface.

At the pool, where I pretend the peak of my belly

touches my spine

if I lay

flat on my back,

a woman swims laps, and all I can hear is the opposite  

of a pattern someone who is just trying to get through the day

makes.

Between splashing cacophonies,

I still thought about the times I wanted to say something

different but sometimes I am crushed

ice that I can hold on

to with one hand before it melts,

And,

I think we like things with which we see projections of

ourselves and wouldn’t it be

nice

if we weren’t them

but something just close enough to the surface

of the pool

that we recognize others

in our

reflection too?

My chest hurts when it’s hard to say ‘no’

and ‘yes.’

With each breath growing more shallow, I thought

should she drown from exhaustion,

I was the only one there to

save her.

I imagine throwing her a string to pull her back up to the surface,

“IwasabeautifulgirlPleasedon’tgoItoobelievemybodyismadeofglassI’veneverlovedanyoneIthinkofmyselfasfunnyForgiveme…”

Krauss explained that in the Age of String, shy people carried a wad of it in their pockets and used a piece to guide words that otherwise might not make it to their destination.

There use to be a time when there was no moment but the one under the sun and there was no

shift in the universe

that could keep it from going

away too soon.

 


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#WhatsWithYourSweatySelfiesandHashtags ?

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If you follow me on Fbook, you may have noticed a few sweaty selfies and an overabundance of hashtags feeding from a refurbished Instagram account. I dusted off an abandoned one for this new “project” of mine — follow my journey here.

At first, I thought this new venture would be a departure from who I am (I’m no sales woman, and I’m turned off by popular and overly commercialized products), but for me, it’s about latching on to the part that inspires others to make positive changes in their lives.  Ladies and gentlemen, I am a Beachbody coach.

Unless you are a recluse who never consumes pop-culture even through osmosis (I’m verging on that, so no judgement!), you’ve most likely heard of P9oX, Insanity, and/or Shakeology (just a few of many Beachbody products).  Most of their products are at-home workout DVDs, and I became hooked after going through the original Insanity series (and yes, it truly is INSANE).  I’m not a fan of going to the gym (unless it’s taking my badass-shut-yo-mouth sister’s Pilates class of course); I’d much prefer sweating it out in nature or in the comfort of my own home, so this product appeals to me on a basic level.

However, since hopping on the bandwagon, I’ve realized it appeals to me on a more complex level as well.  Beachbody is not just about products; it is about inspiring others to live healthy lifestyles and to take as many people as possible along with us on that journey. Currently, I’m a part of a Facebook accountability challenge group going through the Insanity Max:30 program, and on the 21st of June, I’m starting my own group for the 21 Day Fix program (Ask me about it in the contact box below!).  I feel stronger every single day, and I FEEL GOOD. I’m not focused on weight loss, even though that will inevitably happen (already has — 3 lbs in one week – woot!). I want to encourage others to make the change for their bodies to live longer, for their skin to glow, to empower their minds that they can persevere a grueling challenge, and to celebrate strength and camaraderie. Turns out, this new venture is not a departure from who I am, it is an extension.  This blog is all about finding balance between appreciating what I have and wanting more.  I appreciate my body and my health, but I want more for myself. I want to be as strong as I can be and I want to feel my best.  When I am a parent, I want my children to notice that I take care of my vessel for them and for myself, and that it isn’t selfish or vain to take the time to nurture it.

When I posted one of my sweaty selfies (roll your eyes, go ahead!), others responded with their own sweaty selfies or comments about how it inspired them to get moving as well.  Yes, everyone wants to feel reciprocal love, but another human need for happiness that we often forget about is our desire for a sense of community and a connection to others.  Feeding off of others who inspire me, and in turn, encouraging them, feels really good. I believe I even exclaimed in response to someone, “Hear us roar!” I’m a sap, and I’m proud of it. As a teacher, I understand how important it is to lead by example and to have fun while doing it, because if I’m not having fun, my students sure as heck are not going to have any fun either.

And I’m having fun.

I’m holding myself accountable for my journey to becoming more fit and healthy, and others are holding me accountable.  I’m (hopefully) inspiring others, and others are inspiring me.  This network of like-minded people — feels good.  If you are interested in joining me on my journey — don’t shy away.  I want to be your coach. Look no further.

Hear me roar.

xo,

Lauren


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When my palms face the sun.

In the pool,

where I pretend the chlorine will

bleach my mistakes without turning my hair green,

the men turn skin into leather.

A man who preferred F bombs over cannon balls said,

“We’ve got to stop meeting this way.  Thought about you the other day when I picked up

some Heineken,”

but the man with hair longer than his patience said something by

not saying anything at all.

This time, when the mother insisted,

“Stay away from the lady with the book,

you’ll get her pages wet,”

I said, “It’s okay, the pages dry,”

and she smiled.

I never use a bookmark, because I always know where I left off.

In the Age of Silence,

people communicated only with their hands,

where I wouldn’t get into as much trouble with ambiguity.

Krauss’s words,”the lover might accidentally take to be the gesture, not at all dissimilar, for Now I realize I was wrong to love you.  These mistakes were heartbreaking.  And yet, because people knew how easily they could happen, because they didn’t go around with the illusion that they understood perfectly the things other people said, they were used to interrupting each other to ask if they’d understood correctly,”

landed softly in my cushioned palms because they were

always facing the sun.

I mixed the black print in with the spaces in between into the water around me because intention is overlooked in a world

without greys.

There was a time when the only thing that happened when my shoulder strap broke was that it made it easier to crawl out.

 


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When the edges curl.

In the pool,

where I brown my skin to pretend

the smoothness will last when the color fades,

the kids splash, but their mothers say,

“Don’t get too close to the lady with the book,

you’ll get her pages wet.”

I say nothing.

But I like it when the edges curl up like they are alive,

I imagine this sentence, “It might seem like you’re limiting yourself at first, but after a while you realize that having a quarter-of-an-inch of something you have a better chance of holding on to a certain feeling of the universe than if you pretended to be doing the whole sky,”

dropping into the water,

Krauss’s words spreading wider until the gaps between the letters

become void when the ink runs together.

The boy says,

“Mom, did you know that sometimes scientists lie?  The earth is actually a big spaceship with a bunch of people in it.”

She looked back at him,

and we sat there saying nothing together.

When I was a swan in the ballet, a hunter took me by the hand, and I followed him

not knowing where he was taking me put a knot in my stomach that I wanted to feel.

He stopped and did nothing.  He wasn’t taking me anywhere, but he looked at me as though I could make things that weren’t possible happen

or I looked at me that way.

I use to say nothing and everything all at once.