Just as I aimed to ease the Monday blues with my 7 for seven, I aim once again. Though this time, I need a good laugh — at my expense, because if I don’t do that every once in a while, I risk taking myself too seriously.
Upon announcing to my roommate one morning before work, “I had to talk myself into washing my hair this morning in the shower to avoid it looking greasy, but now I can’t talk myself into drying it, so now it just looks greasy anyway!”, her dead-pan response to me was, “The struggle is real.” That seems to be her go-to response to me quite often, and it’s since become my inner-mantra whenever I need to just stop, step outside of myself, and laugh at myself and my “problems.”
Last week’s “struggles”:
10. “My twelve-year-old student, the other day, tells me he was on Tinder. He said, ‘I’m not going to lie, I got like 30 likes.’ Then he proceeded to tell me not to worry because he filtered out the thirty-somethings. Is he implying I’m on there?!”
9. “Every time I go to get my nails painted, I feel like I get attitude from my manicurist. She looks at me with this face and says, ‘You want black on your toenails?’ I tell her yes, and she repeats it. Then I just start to question my judgement .”
8. “At the same time, my coworker and I told each other we were no longer available that day after school to work out. She told me she couldn’t work out because she had a hot date, and I told her it was because I had an appointment that got switched around. Is this the difference between your 20s and 30s?”
7. “I took the gluten free waffle option and then I poured syrup on it. Does that defeat the purpose?”
6. “I have a problem telling age with men when they are tall.”
5. “Out of boredom, I created an avatar of myself, only the app was written entirely in Japanese. I’m fairly certain I sent my avatar out into the universe. Thank God I didn’t go with the crop-top option”
4. “I have two hangovers this morning — one from drinking and one from eating my weight in queso.”
3. “Ugh, my nails.”
2. “I’m too hungry to go grocery shopping.”
1. “I’m waiting on a vegan taco. Walking contradiction considering I just ate a rib.”
Happy Monday! I hope you have a great week. Share your laughs with me!